Changed Lives

Nothing testifies more to the reason for this ministry than lives that have been changed. When marriages are enriched and healthier legacies of security are given to their children, we have no doubt that we are on the right path.

Recently, three men shared their hearts - and the ways in which their lives have been changed - at our Founding Partners event. Each volunteered to share his story and the role that Mourning Dove Ministries played in his personal journey.

Brent shared the pain of facing a divorce that he does not want. Gary has had the opportunity to mentor and encourage Brent over the past five months as a complement to the other support that he has sought. His heart breaks as he describes the impact of being a “part time Dad” to his two precious children - a young son and daughter. “I wish I had access to a ministry like Mourning Dove about five years ago. Our marriage may have taken a totally different direction.”
Blake then talked about the irony of speaking to the group on that particular night. “Several months ago, Kim and I had decided that we would wait until our 4-year-old daughter ‘graduated’ from pre-school before Kim and the kids would leave to live with her parents in Colorado. That day was today, and I’m so happy to say that we are more content than ever in our marriage. There will be no separation or divorce.”

Blake and Kim met with us in preparation for their attendance at a Marriage Intensive at the WinShape Retreat Center. Both of them worked hard to understand new ways of communicating and honoring one another. The results have been life-transforming.

Lance was the third presenter that evening. With Heather at his side, he described the frustration that both of them felt in their marriage. Lance was not sure that there was hope for change; Heather felt alone in the marriage because Lance seemed emotionally distant.

We met with this couple for eight hours in a Pre-Intensive format and then co-facilitated the 4-day Intensive at WinShape. By creating a safe environment for one another and the use of the powerful tool of “confession and forgiveness,” Lance and Heather have a marriage that is continuing to grow in real intimacy. The couple is expecting their first child in October.

Your financial support and prayers make these stories possible. Thank you.

 Ministry Partners Needed

It has been an incredible year as God took a small shoe-string operation into a full-time marriage coaching and counseling ministry with multi-state impact.

The fees collected by Mourning Dove Ministries cover approximately 35% of the ministry’s operating budget; the rest comes from those of you who have partnered with Mourning Dove Ministries to save marriages and families from the ravages of divorce and unhealthy environments.

We need your gifts to continue to provide counseling and mentoring to couples and individuals regardless of their ability to pay. Our budget through the summer months totals $28,795. Every donation is deeply appreciated. Mourning Dove Ministries is a registered 501(c)3 non-profit corporation.

Please send your gifts to the address listed below or by clicking on the button below.

Mourning Dove Ministries' Different Approach to Counseling

 “We’ve been to counseling several times and never saw any changes.”

“It didn’t work.”

“I spent the time leading up to the counseling session ‘preparing my case’ against my spouse.

These are typical of the quotes that we have heard from couples with whom we have worked over the past two years.

It was similar personal experiences that led us to create a different model of counseling to “Strengthen Marriages to Weather the Storms of Life.”

Key differences include:

• Couple with couple interaction

• Minimum session lengths of 2 hours; extended sessions are available

• The creation of a warm and safe environment - the “living room” approach

• The use of Intimacy Therapy as our core theory - to promote deep healing and to address causes rather than symptoms.

• The integration of coaching into the sessions to equip couples to incorporate new methods of interacting into their relationship.
  

Endless Marital Arguments - Gary Smalley

In a recent newsletter, renowned relationship expert Gary Smalley discussed the reasons for seemingly endless marital arguments. That article follows:

Help for constant marriage arguments?

Does it seem as though you can never have a discussion with your spouse or friend without arguing? Have you ever taken the time to consider what lies beneath the surface of your arguments?

Relationship experts have identified 4 main relational "germs" that creep into and destroy relationships.

The first "germ" is Withdrawal. Here one mate closes the other person out after an argument starts. For example, statements like: "End of discussion; it's over."

The second "germ" is Escalation. This is when a person starts defending or trying to win an argument. Here, he or she volleys back and forth with shame and defensive statements. Statements like "It's your fault that our son talks to me like that, you're a great example!" dominate the discussion.

The third "germ" is Belittling. Here, one mate accuses the other of being "dumb" or "stupid" in their thinking or feelings. Somehow, one mate is trying to belittle the other and prove that he or she is better than them. With this germ you hear statements like: "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

The final "germ" is Exaggerated or False Beliefs.
Here, one mate may believe that the other is trying to ruin or weaken the marriage or friendship on purpose by making broad statements like: "You're always including your family. They've been between us our whole married life!" and "Why bring him, weren't we doing this alone tonight?"

The key to resolution begins with avoiding these communication "germs." Every one of these is overcome by practicing James 1:19 "... but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger."

- Gary Smalley

Choosing A Different Path - The Story of Ritchie and Molly White

“...I didn’t want to divorce, I simply felt there was no way to heal what was left after years of us bungling up so many aspects of our marriage. Escaping seemed the only way to find emotional and mental peace.” These words from Molly White captured the anguish with which she was dealing when she agreed to participate in a two-day Marriage Intensive.

Click here to read their full story.

Ministry Highlights 2006 - 2007

April 2006 - Official launch of Mourning Dove Ministries as a full-time ministry

July 2006 - Co-facilitated Marriage Intensive at WinShape Retreat Center (as volunteers)

August 2006 - Launched the Mourning Dove Ministries Prayer Team

September 2006 - Mourning Dove Ministries put on referral list for North Point Community Church

September 2006 - Elvira gave her first public testimony/presentation

September 2006 - Held first individual 2-day Marriage Intensive at home office

November 2006 - Elected new Board of Directors

December 2006 - Web Site launched

January 2007 - Board of Directors Retreat - WinShape Center

March 2007 - Both Gary and Elvira spoke at public forums

May 2007 - Founding Partners fund-raising event held

About Mourning Dove Ministries

Mourning Dove Ministries was founded in 2001 by Gary and Elvira Delaplane as a non-profit organization dedicated to the enrichment and restoration of marriages to be all that God intended for them to be.

Through the tools of counseling, coaching, mentoring, and speaking, Mourning Dove Ministries strives to heal relationships that are in strife and to help build solid, healthy foundations for new marriages.

These services are available to all couples and families regardless of their ability to pay.

Mourning Dove Ministries Board of Directors

Nick Barillas, Alpharetta, GA

Jeff Daniel, Cumming, GA

Gary Delaplane, Roswell, GA

Elvira Delaplane, Roswell, GA

Lou Harris, Roswell, GA

Brad Hubbard, Roswell, GA

Click here to see a listing of previous newsletters.