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In other words, how many people deeply and truly know you? I don’t
mean how many people know your name or have made your acquaintance,
but how many people know your heart – your dreams, your fears, your
deepest thoughts, your values and your beliefs? In this time of text
messaging, internet relationships and never-ending busyness, we
often find our relationships continuously becoming shallower. God’s
desire is for us to know Him intimately and for us to have deeply
intimate connections with others.
Most of us want to be known by others – to have intimate
relationships with others in which we can “be ourselves,” feel
accepted and be open in sharing our thoughts and dreams. God offers
us that degree of intimacy but are we so deeply entrenched behind
the safety of our facades that we are fearful of tearing down those
walls?
Three Hebrew words are translated into the English word
“Intimacy” and these give us a wonderful insight into
the heart of God and His desires for our earthly relationships.
The first of these is YADA – to know; intimate knowledge of
another person. (Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:1). Knowing another
person requires intentionality. You must seek to
know the heart of your wife or your children. That task is
never-ending. Make it an adventure. Your wife is not a stagnant
individual – she is always changing – and her heart must be pursued
in order to be known. It requires that you listen and ask questions.
My greatest regret with our children is that I didn’t listen to
their hearts more passionately and diligently.
The second Hebrew word is SOD – to reveal; vulnerable disclosure.
(Proverbs 3:32). Intimacy requires allowing someone to know you.
This requires a safe environment. Despite my best
intentions, I can know my wife’s heart only as deeply as she allows
me to know it. The question that I have to ask myself is whether or
not I create that safety for my wife. Do I validate her feelings? Do
I listen without interjecting my opinions? Do I dream the impossible
and silly with her without making her feel foolish? On the other
hand, am I willing to be open and vulnerable with my wife in a
manner that allows her to know me? Am I willing to let down my
façade and reveal my true self?
The third is SAKAN – to be of use, service or profit; caring
involvement. (Psalm 139:3). Despite the best intentions and the
safest environment, intimacy and being known will not occur without
the desire to be caringly involved with another. We all know couples
who seem to go through the motions of marriage – essentially living
parallel and separate lives. To know and be known requires us to
share our lives, our leisure time, our hobbies, our trials and our
joys. Do you create an environment in which your wife feels pursued
and that you would rather spend time with her than with anyone else?
God knows our hearts; He wants us to know His heart as well. He also
created us to have intimate relationships with others - to know
others and to be known. What can you change in your life to create
these deeper and more meaningful relationships?
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