Mourning Dove Ministries is a coaching and counseling ministry that offers practical help to make good marriages better, and hope and healing for troubled marriages. 2008 Mourning Dove Ministries Gary Delaplane http://www.mourning-dove.org "Being Known - Who really knows you?" and "What about my needs? What do I do when my needs seem to be ignored or lost in the busyness of life? Has just been posted by Gary and Elvira. Visit the site for some thought provoking reading. http://mourning-dove.org/index.html Gary and Elvira Delaplane Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:22 EST A few weeks ago we were in a session with a couple who was falling into an argumentative trap that is likely to be familiar to most of us. As we listened to the symptoms of their dysfunctional “dance,” I (Gary) summed up their situation with the simple observation http://mourning-dove.org/spring_08.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Newsletter_-_Spring_2008.pdf Gary Delaplane Sun, 04 May 2008 15:47 EST Most of us feel very secure and safe in our homes…at least from a physical perspective. But how safe is your home for your wife and children from the emotional and spiritual perspectives? http://mourning-dove.org/men_only_safety.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Home_Safety_-_02-2008.pdf Gary Delaplane Thu, 29 Feb 2008 11:26 EST  I am not a selfish person…or so I thought. A few years into our marriage it was obvious – at least to me – that it was Gary who always put his agenda ahead of all others in our marriage. http://mourning-dove.org/women_only_mirror.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Looking_in_the_Mirror_-_01-08.pdf Elvira M. Delaplane Thu, 29 Feb 2008 17:54 EST Change is a choice. Despite our best efforts, we can’t force others to change, but we can choose to assess how we have undermined the intimacy in our marriages. http://mourning-dove.org/autumn_07.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Newsletter_-_Fall_2007.pdf Gary Delaplane Sat, 03 Nov 2007 15:13 EST “I don’t want my husband to have to think about doing loving and romantic things for me – I want him to do them ‘naturally.’” As a wife spoke these words in one of our counseling sessions, we glanced over at her husband. His glazed eyes reflected the sense of helplessness that we knew he felt at that moment. http://mourning-dove.org/men_only_intentional.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Being_Intentional_-_09-2007.pdf Gary Delaplane Mon, 10 Sep 2007 20:26 EST “Are relationships your top priority in life? In his book The DNA of Relationships, renowned author Gary Smalley makes the point that “Life is relationships; the rest is just details.” http://mourning-dove.org/women_only_distractions.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Distractions_-_09-07.pdf Elvira M. Delaplane Mon, 10 Sep 2007 19:45 EST How safe is your wife’s heart in your care? Can she extend her heart to you and know that you will protect it with all of your being? Do you provide her with the safest place on this side of heaven? http://mourning-dove.org/men_only_heart.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/A_Womans_Heart_-_06-2007.pdf Gary Delaplane Sat, 7 Jul 2007 11:26 EST “For heaven’s sake he should know what I need. After all, we’ve been married for over twenty years!” How often have the assumptions we’ve made led to frustration and hurt in our relationship with our husbands? http://mourning-dove.org/women_only_assumptions.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Assumptions_-_06-07.pdf Elvira M. Delaplane Sat, 7 Jul 2007 11:26 EST Nothing testifies more to the reason for this ministry than lives that have been changed. When marriages are enriched and healthier legacies of security are given to their children, we have no doubt that we are on the right path. http://mourning-dove.org/summer_07.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Newsletter_-_Summer_2007.pdf Gary W. Delaplane Thu, 31 May 2007 20:00 EST Only four months ago we sent out the letter in which we announced that Mourning Dove Ministries should be a full-time counseling, coaching, and training ministry. The response to that announcement has been incredible. http://mourning-dove.org/winter_07.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Newsletter_-_Winter_2007.pdf Gary W. Delaplane Thu, 4 Jan 2007 17:22 EST Self-sufficiency was an affliction with which I (Gary) dealt most of my life. Of course, I didn’t view it as a problem... http://mourning-dove.org/december-nl.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Newsletter_-_December_2006.pdf Gary W. Delaplane Sat, 16 Dec 2006 12:56 EST See if you can relate to the following scenario: Your wife and you disagree about some seemingly minor issue, say, for example, your reluctance to stay in the kitchen to wash the dinner dishes as you hear Hank Williams Junior’s resonant voice announcing the beginning of Monday night football. http://mourning-dove.org/men_only1.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/Healing_through_Godly_Sorrow_-_12-2006.pdf Gary W. Delaplane Sat, 16 Dec 2006 11:48 EST We hear the words “irreconcilable differences” used many times as a reason for divorce. Isn’t that just another way of saying “unresolved conflict?” The world has distorted the meaning of many words and phrases. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, so why is there so little damage control?  What are we going to do about it? http://mourning-dove.org/women_only1.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/For_Women_Only_-_12-16-06.pdf Elvira M. Delaplane Sat, 16 Dec 2006 11:26 EST My husband and I just spent two days with Gary and Elvira Delaplane. My husband arranged for us to go to their home for intensive counseling after I asked him for a divorce. We have been married almost 11 years, and have a beautiful 18-month-old son. Of course I didn’t want to divorce... http://mourning-dove.org/testimonial-wf.html http://mourning-dove.org/reference%20docs/PDFs/white-family.pdf Molly White Fri, 15 Dec 2006 09:39 EST