Q. We have tried counseling and nothing seemed to change.  How is the approach of Mourning Dove Ministries different?

A.  The coaching and counseling approach of MDM is described in greater detail in The Process page of the site, however, the key differences include the following:

Accelerated results through extended sessions.  Our standard session is two hours long and longer sessions can be arranged.

Couple-on-couple interaction that brings balance to differing gender perspectives.

Focus on the core issues of the pain and dysfunction rather than superficial treatment of symptoms.

Q.  What are the counseling goals when working with Mourning Dove Ministries?

A.  The goals of our work with couples are multi-faceted:

To provide the couple with a fundamental understanding of God’s plan for relationships and the three dimensions of intimacy – spiritual, emotional and physical.

To assist each individual in “knowing” oneself and to facilitate a much deeper knowing of his or her spouse.

To teach the couple how to use proven tools to heal the pain that has accumulated over the years of marriage.

To equip the couple to continue to deepen marital intimacy independent of counseling support.

To create a new legacy for the children in the family.

Q.  Why don’t you meet with couples in a traditional office environment?

A.  We intentionally work to create a warm, safe and inviting atmosphere in which we can come alongside couples as they work to sort out and heal the issues of hurt and pain in their marriage.  We do not want to perpetuate the feeling that they need to go to a traditional counseling office environment “to get fixed.”  We find that we have been able to create an atmosphere that is free of condemnation and one that promotes comfort and trust.

Q.  What is the Intensive approach and how does it differ from weekly sessions?

A.  The Intensive session usually lasts from four to eight hours and is designed to help those couples who desire assistance for crisis situations or who wish to dramatically accelerate the counseling process.  Intensives allow couples to deeply explore the sources of dysfunctional patterns in the marriage over the course of one or two sessions and to quickly learn the new tools to increase marital intimacy. However, in the same manner as the weekly sessions, the goal of the Intensives is to heal the pain brought into the marriage and that incurred during the marriage.

Q.  What can I do when my spouse is unwilling to attend counseling?

A.  We truly believe in the power of one – the impact that one spouse can make by learning the tools of marital intimacy and by approaching the relationship with new patterns.  Although the most effective approach is to work together as a couple to achieve the abundant marriage desired, we will work with individuals.  Often the changes observed in the spouse who is attending the counseling sessions will lead the reluctant spouse to begin to participate.

Q.  At what point should I give up trying to save my marriage?

A.  We are committed to help any couple heal their marriage and make it all that God intends for it to be, even after the pain of divorce.  We know of couples who have remarried after divorce and have successfully renewed their commitment to one another.  They realized that their prior approaches were destructive and they were committed to doing things differently.  Our suggestion is to not “give up” on a marriage until the death or remarriage by one of the spouses.

Q.  Are there alternatives to the face-to-face sessions?

A.  Both Gary and Elvira are available to consult over the telephone or the internet.  There are circumstances in which immediate assistance is needed and a telephone call is the most expedient way to accomplish that.  Telephone and internet support is not designed to replace the personal interaction of face-to-face counseling, but is available for short-term relief or to provide guidance for specific situations.  Call to obtain additional information and rates.

Q.  Are Gary or Elvira available to speak to groups?

A.  Yes.  The purpose of Mourning Dove Ministries is to teach the foundational dynamics of healthy marriages and to work with couples to enrich their relationships and families.  Please call to discuss ways in which the ministry can support your efforts to build healthy marriages.